Collection Of Windows Jokes 2.3

About our most wanted OS ;-)

I do not hate xor love Windows, I hate and love Windows... That's why I can laugh about Windows and still use it. ;-)

This jokes site was made without use of any HTML editor, only using GNU Emacs (not vi neither vim! ;-) on a Sun SparcStation II (nothing else than our beloved fsinfo) running SunOS 4.1.3 or on my PC azka running SuSE Linux.

[M-%] [C-Q] [C-M] [Enter] [Enter] [!]

Because of this page being growing and growing, I decided to splitt it into several pages:
(Windows seems to be infinitely in some way... ;-)

1. Jokes & Sayings in English
   Few examples:
   • Windows 95 - Plug 'n' Pray...
   • Windows - a solitaire game that requires 16 MB and HD
   • Windows - The best $89 solitaire game you can buy
   • "Fer sail cheep, Windows spel chekcer, wurks grate"
   • The word "Windows" is a word out of an old dialect of the Apaches. It means: "White man staring through glass-screen onto an hourglass..."
   • Alt-F4. Just do it.
   • This virus requires Microsoft Windows 3.x
   • ...
2. Witze und Sprüche auf Deutsch
   Jokes and Sayings in German: Tried to translate and explain some in Englisch...
3. Short Stories and other Windows stuff
4. Songs   ^{Modified on 24-Mar-98}
5. Prayers   ^{NEW! Added on 16-Feb-98}
6. What the hell does the 95 in Windows95 mean?
7. Windows 95 Source Code
8. Pictures
9. Funny Error Messages
10. Funny Real Error Messages
11. Links to other (English written) pages with funny Micro$oft stuff
12. Links to other (German written) pages with funny Micro$oft stuff

From where do I have all that stuff?

All the funny jokes I read or heard, all the funny things I saw, are gathered on this site. I found them in rec.humor, de.talk.jokes, fido.ger.jokes or other humorus newsgroups as well as in the WWW, in .plan files or in signatures. Also there were many jokes e-mailed me by people from all around the world. See also credits.

Guestbook

Just have a look on my guestbook. I would be glad, if you leave a note in it.

Copyright

These pages are copyright © 1996 - 98 by me. As mentioned above the content is not by me, so I don't have a copyright on the jokes, the funny pictures and other things listed. If I know about a copyright on a special item it is noticed.

I don't mind if you copy some jokes or pictures from this collection and put it on your home page, etc. (may be some others do ;-) But it's not allowed to copy any source code (parts or whole pages) and use it without a comment on the origin. Before mirroring any of these pages, please drop me a note, so that I can link the page.

Credits

I think visitors since 1^st of July 0x7CC and up to 100 visits per day (long time average somewhere around 50 visits per day) are a reason to include those people, who helped me keeping this site growing by sending me new Windows jokes or just told me some. :-)

Bastian Kleineidam aka Calvin for being added with Windows 95 - Plug and pray to one of Mawans signatures; Rainer Michael Schmid aka RaMSch for his Unix rulez - MS sucks page; Christoph Appel, Tobias Becker, Nikki Britz aka dyfa, Jeremiah Dickson, Christian Felcmann, Lisa Henretty, Uwe Knietzsch, Nicole Matheus aka voyager, Ignacio Merani, Erik Meltzer, Hilmar Preusse, Christian Reichert, DJ ByteDisaster, Lipp, Mickey Mouse for sending me new Windows jokes via e-mail; and last but not least those I forgot. Also thanks to Daniel Bruno for forwarding me a lot of further Windows jokes and to Holger Krause for forwarding a lot of Windows jokes to Daniel Bruno. ;-)

And a lot of thanx to Micro$oft for making all this possible and for releasing always new Windows versions with new and more creative bugs... (I think, there is no link necessary, you all know where to find Bill and his friends... ;-)

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Copyright © 1996 - 2000 by Axel Beckert, abe@deuxchevaux.org Suggestions, critics and especially new Windows jokes are always welcome. BTW: Funny flame-mails are welcome, too. Other flame-mails' destiny will be the killfile. ;-)

Last update: 17-Apr-2015, 13:14 (CEST)