Legacy web pages of Axel Beckert

Since I'm no more active at the Fachschaftsrat Informatik of the University of Saarland anymore, I have transferred all my university time legacy web pages from http://fsinfo.cs.uni-sb.de/~abe/ to this interim host at http://fsinfo.noone.org/~abe/ with only minimal modifications, mainly e-mail addresses.

Most pages on this interim host won't be updated anymore until they are moved (and redirected) step by step to their future home somewhere under http://noone.org/.

Please also note that my former e-mail address abe@fsinfo.cs.uni-sb.de is no more valid. Use abe@deuxchevaux.org instead.

— Axel Beckert, Zürich, 23rd of September 2007 

/* Collection Of Windows Jokes - Windows 95 Source Code */

/*
   Index
   Jokes ENG
   Jokes GER
   Short Stories
   Songs
   95 ?
   Pictures
   Fun Errors
   Real Errors
   Links ENG
   Links GER
*/
/* TOP SECRET Microsoft(c) Code Project: Chicago(tm) Projected release-date: Summer 1994, Spring 1995 */ #include <stdio.h> #include <dos.h> #include <conio.h> #include "win31.h" #include "evenmore.h" #include "oldstuff.h" #include "billrulz.h" /* Reference: Internal memo #99281-95 from: William H. Gates III to: Executive managers Chicago(tm)-project William H. Gates III wrote: "I have seriouu doubts about the 'EASY' installation-definition. It might prevent customers to think that they actually bought something _good_. Therefore I want the installation-definition to be 'HARD'. Carry on, God Bill " */ #define INSTALL = HARD void main() { while(!CRASHED) { display_copyright_message(); display_bill_rules_message(); do_nothing_loop(); if(first_time_installation) { make_50_megabyte_swapfile(); do_nothing_loop(); totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system(); search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2(); hang_system(); } write_something(anything); display_copyright_message(); do_nothing_loop(); do_some_stuff(); if(still_not_crashed) { display_copyright_message(); do_nothing_loop(); basically_run_windows_3.1(); do_nothing_loop(); do_nothing_loop(); } } /* Reference: Internal memo #99683-95 from: Executive managers Chicago(tm)-project to: William H. Gates III Executive managers Chicago(tm)-project wrote: "Dear Sir, Since we have found that this last piece of code within the 'if'-statement will never execute, we descided NOT to include it in the final code. This way we will save atleast another 5 megabytes of consumer-diskspace! Thank you for listening to us, the executive managers of the Chicago(tm)-project " */ /* if(still_not_crashed) { write_cheer(); finished(); } */ create_general_protection_fault(); } 

/*
   Index
   Jokes ENG
   Jokes GER
   Short Stories
   Songs
   95 ?
   Pictures
   Fun Errors
   Real Errors
   Links ENG
   Links GER
*/

/* Last update: 26-Nov-97 08:10 (CET) */